22. Tī 海 ni̍h, 無人會孤單

22. Tī hái ni̍h, bô lâng ē ko͘-toaⁿ

"Che sī ióng-kiāⁿ, hoeh-chúi chiok ê hî," i siūⁿ. "Ka-chài góa lia̍h tio̍h i, m̄-sī hái-ti-á. Hái-ti-á bah siuⁿ tiⁿ. Che bē tiⁿ, êng-ióng lóng tī leh."

M̄-koh mā m̄-sī ta̍k-hāng kan-ta si̍t-iōng tō hó, i siūⁿ. Nā ū iâm tō hó lah. Góa m̄-chai chhun ê, ji̍t-thâu sī ē kā pha̍k-ta a̍h-sī kā pha̍k-chhàu, só͘-í sui-jiân góa bē iau, kài-hó sī lóng kā chia̍h-liáu. Hî taⁿ chēng-chēng, ún-ún. Góa kā chia̍h-liáu tō thò-tòng ah.

"Chhiú ah, ài ū nāi-sim," i kóng. "Che sī ūi-tio̍h lí."

"Góa nā ē-tàng chhī hî tō hó lah, i siūⁿ. I sī goán hiaⁿ-tī. M̄-koh góa ài thâi i, góa ài ū khùi-la̍t thâi. I bān-bān, iōng-sim kā he chiⁿ-á hêng ê hî-bah liau lóng chia̍h liáu.

I khiā-ti̍t, chhiú tī tn̂g-khò͘ chhit-chhit leh. "Taⁿ, chhiú ah," i kóng. "Lí ē-sái pàng-khui soh-á, hō͘ góa iōng chiàⁿ-chhiú kap i piàⁿ, it-ti̍t kàu lí bô tāi-chì." I iōng tò-kha ta̍h tò-chhiú khiú ê soh-á, téng-sin hiàⁿ-āu thèⁿ kha-chiah-phiaⁿ siū tio̍h ê la̍t.

"Thiⁿ ah, mài koh kiù-kin lah," i kóng. "Góa m̄-chai hî koh-lâi boeh chhòng siáⁿ."

M̄-koh i ná chin léng-chēng, i siūⁿ, chiàu i ka-tī ê kè-ōe. I ê kè-ōe sī siáⁿ, i siūⁿ. Góa ū kè-ōe bô? I hiah tōa-phiāng, góa ài chham-khó i ê kè-ōe. I nā thiàu, góa tō thâi i. Khó-sioh i m̄-chhut-lâi, án-ne góa tō kap i bôa--lo̍h-khì.

I kā kiù-kin ê chhiú tī khò͘-téng hôe, hō͘ chéng-thâu-á pàng-lēng. Chéng-thâu-á iáu chhun bē-khui. Khó-lêng ji̍t-thâu pha̍k i tō khui, i siūⁿ. Khó-lêng he chhǹg-á sasimi siau-hòa liáu i tō khui. Chhiú nā ài iōng ê sî, khah khó͘ mā tio̍h khui. M̄-koh taⁿ góa iáu m̄-bián iōng-kiông ê. Hō͘ i ka-tī khui, ka-tī hôe-ho̍k. Cha-àm koah soh, chiap soh ê sî, siuⁿ bián-kióng tio̍h i.

I ba̍k-chiu kā hái-bīn sàu chi̍t piàn, chai-iáⁿ ka-tī ū gōa ko͘-toaⁿ. M̄-koh i ē-tàng khòaⁿ tio̍h chhim-chhim àm-sek hái-chúi ni̍h ê kng-sòaⁿ, soh-á ǹg-chêng sûi-lo̍h, kap pêng-chēng hái-bīn kî-miāu ê chúi-éng. Boeh khí bō͘-e̍k hong (trade wind) ê hûn tah koân, i khòaⁿ chêng, khòaⁿ tio̍h chi̍t tīn iá-seng ê ah tī thiⁿ-piⁿ poe-kòe chúi-bīn, ū-sî bâ-bū (blurring), ū-sî chheng-chhó. I chai, tī hái ni̍h, bô lâng ē ko͘-toaⁿ.

I siūⁿ tio̍h ū ê lâng chē sió-chûn chhut-hái, khióng-kiaⁿ bô khòaⁿ tio̍h hái-hōaⁿ, chai in sī tī chin kín piàn-thiⁿ ê goe̍h-hūn. Taⁿ tō-sī hong-thai ê goe̍h-hūn, nā bô hong-thai, chit-chūn ê thiⁿ-khì sī chi̍t-nî tiong-kan siōng hó ê.

Hong-thai nā boeh lâi, kúi-nā kang chêng tī hái-ni̍h, lí tō ē tī thiⁿ-téng khòaⁿ tio̍h sìn-hō. In tī lio̍k-tē khòaⁿ bô, in-ūi in m̄-chai boeh khòaⁿ siáⁿ, i siūⁿ. Tī lio̍k-tē khòaⁿ ê hûn, hêng-chōng mā bô kāng. Taⁿ lán bô hong-thai boeh lâi.

I khòaⁿ thiⁿ, khòaⁿ tio̍h pe̍h-sek ê chek-hûn (cumulus) ná chi̍t-tui siâⁿ-lâng ê ais-krim, koh téng-koân ū po̍h-po̍h ná mî-se ê kńg-hûn (cirrus) phû tī koân-koân ê káu-goe̍h thiⁿ.

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22. Tī 海 ni̍h, 無人會孤單

"這是勇健, 血水足 ê 魚," 伊想. "佳哉我掠著伊, 毋是海豬仔. 海豬仔肉 siuⁿ 甜. 這袂甜, 營養攏 tī leh."

毋過 mā 毋是逐項干焦實用 tō 好, 伊想. 若有鹽 tō 好 lah. 我毋知賰 ê, 日頭是會 kā 曝焦抑是 kā 曝臭, 所以雖然我袂 iau, 蓋好是攏 kā 食了. 魚今靜靜, 穩穩. 我 kā 食了 tō 妥當 ah.

"手 ah, 愛有耐心," 伊講. "這是為著你."

"我若會當飼魚 tō 好 lah, 伊想. 伊是阮兄弟. 毋過我愛刣伊, 我愛有氣力刣. 伊慢慢, 用心 kā 彼 chiⁿ-á 形 ê 魚肉 liau 攏食了.

伊徛直, 手 tī 長褲拭拭 leh. "今, 手 ah," 伊講. "你會使放開索仔, 予我用正手 kap 伊拚, 一直到你無代誌." 伊用倒跤踏倒手搝 ê 索仔, 頂身 hiàⁿ 後牚尻脊骿受著 ê 力.

"天 ah, 莫 koh 糾筋 lah," 伊講. "我毋知魚閣來欲創啥."

毋過伊 ná 真冷靜, 伊想, 照伊家己 ê 計畫. 伊 ê 計畫是啥, 伊想. 我有計畫無? 伊 hiah 大龐, 我愛參考伊 ê 計畫. 伊若跳, 我 tō 刣伊. 可惜伊毋出來, án-ne 我 tō kap 伊磨落去.

伊 kā 糾筋 ê 手 tī 褲頂回, 予指頭仔放冗. 指頭仔猶伸袂開. 可能日頭曝伊 tō 開, 伊想. 可能彼串仔 sasimi 消化了伊 tō 開. 手若愛用 ê 時, 較苦 mā 著開. 毋過今我猶毋免用強 ê. 予伊家己開, 家己回復. 昨暗割索, 接索 ê 時, siuⁿ 勉強著伊.

伊目睭 kā 海面掃一遍, 知影家己有偌孤單. 毋過伊會當看著深深暗色海水 ni̍h ê 光線, 索仔 ǹg 前垂落, kap 平靜海面奇妙 ê 水湧. 欲起貿易風 (trade wind) ê 雲搭懸, 伊看前, 看著一陣野生 ê 鴨 tī 天邊飛過水面, 有時麻霧 (blurring), 有時清楚. 伊知, tī 海 ni̍h, 無人會孤單.

伊想著有 ê 人坐小船出海, 恐驚無看著海岸, 知 in 是 tī 真緊變天 ê 月份. 今就是風颱 ê 月份, 若無風颱, 這陣 ê 天氣是一年中間上好 ê.

風颱若欲來, 幾若工前 tī 海 ni̍h, 你 tō 會 tī 天頂看著信號. In tī 陸地看無, 因為 in 毋知欲看啥, 伊想. Tī 陸地看 ê 雲, 形狀 mā 無仝. 今咱無風颱欲來.

伊看天, 看著白色 ê 積雲 (cumulus) ná 一堆唌人 ê ais-krim, koh 頂懸有薄薄 ná 棉紗 ê 捲雲 (cirrus) 浮 tī 懸懸 ê 九月天.

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22.

“It is a strong full-blooded fish,” he thought. “I was lucky to get him instead of dolphin. Dolphin is too sweet. This is hardly sweet at all and all the strength is still in it.”

There is no sense in being anything but practical though, he thought. I wish I had some salt. And I do not know whether the sun will rot or dry what is left, so I had better eat it all although I am not hungry. The fish is calm and steady. I will eat it all and then I will be ready.

“Be patient, hand,” he said. “I do this for you.”

I wish I could feed the fish, he thought. He is my brother. But I must kill him and keep strong to do it. Slowly and conscientiously he ate all of the wedge-shaped strips of fish.

He straightened up, wiping his hand on his trousers. “Now,” he said. “You can let the cord go, hand, and I will handle him with the right arm alone until you stop that nonsense.” He put his left foot on the heavy line that the left hand had held and lay back against the pull against his back.

“God help me to have the cramp go,” he said. “Because I do not know what the fish is going to do.”

But he seems calm, he thought, and following his plan. But what is his plan, he thought. And what is mine? Mine I must improvise to his because of his great size. If he will jump I can kill him. But he stays down forever. Then I will stay down with him forever.

He rubbed the cramped hand against his trousers and tried to gentle the fingers. But it would not open. Maybe it will open with the sun, he thought. Maybe it will open when the strong raw tuna is digested. If I have to have it, I will open it, cost whatever it costs. But I do not want to open it now by force. Let it open by itself and come back of its own accord. After all I abused it much in the night when it was necessary to free and untie the various lines.

He looked across the sea and knew how alone he was now. But he could see the prisms in the deep dark water and the line stretching ahead and the strange undulation of the calm. The clouds were building up now for the trade wind and he looked ahead and saw a flight of wild ducks etching themselves against the sky over the water, then blurring, then etching again and he knew no man was ever alone on the sea.

He thought of how some men feared being out of sight of land in a small boat and knew they were right in the months of sudden bad weather. But now they were in hurricane months and, when there are no hurricanes, the weather of hurricane months is the best of all the year.

If there is a hurricane you always see the signs of it in the sky for days ahead, if you are at sea. They do not see it ashore because they do not know what to look for, he thought. The land must make a difference too, in the shape of the clouds. But we have no hurricane coming now.

He looked at the sky and saw the white cumulus built like friendly piles of ice cream and high above were the thin feathers of the cirrus against the high September sky.

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